Have You Read...

If  you read this will you leave me a comment?  I have some more ideas I would like to blog about but I wonder if there is anyone reading.  Thanks and have a Blessed New Year!

I'm Doing It!

Going to the gym.  For the first time, in well, forever really.  I've NEVER belonged to a gym.  But tonight, while it's raining and cold outside, and my house is literally a disaster, I am going to the gym.  With my youngests' Ipod since I've the lost the cord to mine, a bottle of water and FEAR!

I really just like to walk, at a track, around my neighbor hood etc...  So this time I'll be on a treadmill, if I can get it to work. I'm going alone, so no one to talk too, hence the Ipod!  Maybe I'll try a bike and an elliptical.  Surely to the Lord I can make one of them work.

30 minutes.  That's all I am holding myself too tonight.  If I can do that, today, I will feel accomplished :)  I actually plan to go all weekend.   And maybe twice but probably only once during the week.  

How do you fit it all in?  I work outside the home, commute for about an hour each way, work 10 hr days but I know I'm not alone.   So tell me : How do you do it??

No Words

Just an OK mom...

I heard this comment made on one of the new "reality" tv shows. The mother-to-be, a young 17 year old, actually said that she thought she would be an OK mom, not good or bad but OK, just like her mom.

Hmmm...

I laughed at first but then thought for a while. Am I just an OK mom? I mean what is "good" mom vs. just an OK mom?

Isn't it easy to compare yourself to other mothers? When their perfectly dressed, well mannered, first-place-at-everything child makes YOU question your own mothering. I know I try to be a GREAT mom but honestly, sometimes I probably am just OK.

I'm guilty of not paying full attention to every single detail of my baby girl's day. She's very detail oriented? :) Sometimes I'm happy to see my 19 year old head out the door just so I can be home alone. I don't make big fancy meals, I catch my self calling home to see what everyone wants me to pick-up too often. The house gets totally messy, I leave for work before anyone else is up and get home just in time to cook, clean-up, have a break down over multiplication facts and then finally try to sleep. Unless insomnia sets in. But that's for another day.

But then I realize my kids are happy. They are great kids really. Very well mannered, smart, respectful, honest, hardworking and they are better than OK kids. So I think I've done pretty dang at this mothering thing. We are sure far from perfect but I wouldn't want us to be either.

So I have to stop beating myself up, about my family not livivng up to the pictures you see of "perfect" families. We are all OK just like we are. Not good, not bad but to me, better than OK :)

Blogging or Lack There of...

So I am really trying to figure out this blogging thing.  If anyone has actually read this, can you tell me how to add the Blogs I follow to my sidebar?  I think I've tried everything and can't seem to get it to cooperate.  Ahh a day in my imperfect life!

If you have ready this at all, Leave me a comment :)

Disgust

Do you ever just feel disgusted with yourself?  Man I do. Frequently.

Tonight I am disgusted that I have managed to gain all of the weight I lost 7 years ago.  Seriously, how did that happen?  Stress. Contentment. Laziness. Good food.  Yep that about sums it up.

Seven years ago I went through a devastating divorce.  My youngest child wasn't even two years old yet.  I was still carrying around baby weight and weight gained, thanks to fertility drugs.  And then I found myself single and FAT.  So with the help of a great doctor and a lot of hard work I lost 40 pounds.  It was FABULOUS.  And I've kept it off, until last year.

But the last year has been hard. 

Four years ago I remarried.  And it was wonderful, it still is.  But 2011 was trying.  Hubs & I separated, worked things out, then on December 2nd, our house burned to the ground.  Yeah that will stress you out.  I took that month off from work and COOKED.  A LOT.  And felt sorry for myself.  A lot.  And suddenly I'm right back to the weight I was in 2005.

I've tried to ignore it and act like it isn't happening.  But when I look in the mirror I see the fat girl that ate Stacey :)  SO tomorrow, I am starting a diet.  That dreaded word.  I hope I can do it on my on.  I am giving myself 30 day and then, if I don't see any progress, I'm going back to the doctor.

I tried to convince myself that I am OK with myself, as I am.  But I'm not.  I'm disgusted.  I don't want to weigh 200 pounds.  There I said it.   I need accountability. So I'll track my progress and relapses here!

What motivates you to loose weight?  I'm open for suggestions

It's raining at my house tonight.  I guess the rain is much needed but makes me feel lazy. 

School starts here on Monday, later than usual.  Thanks to a law passed by the Legislation here in Bama.  It's supposed to help encourgae tourism and rake in tax dollars, hmmm.  I just know the school calendar seemed to be lacking a few days off;namely Labor Day.  But then who asked me?

My baby girl will start 4th grade and she's really excited.  She actually said that couldn't wait for the weekend to be over so she could go to school Monday.  God love her.

My step-son will be a senior.  I think he may be excited too.

My oldest starts year 2 at the local junior college and will then transfer, somewhere, to complete a nursing degree.  She said it that made it her want to cry.  I told her to just get a job - then she would really cry!

My imperfect life....more to come on that later!